Well, I have to say it went better than I thought. She was very helpful and knowledgeable. She is not only a will lawyer, she also deals with adoption issues. So when we have children she can handle all the details. She also shares a common understanding of our family issues that Georgia does not. I was impressed too that she wanted to save us time and money by adding in all the details for our "hypothetical" children in our initial meeting. Of course, we had homework when it was over like who will take Roux after we die and how much money we exactly want to give to charity. While it is strange to be thinking about all this it feels good to have it done.
On another note, even our lawyer questioned why we were in Atlanta. She said I don't understand why you would move from SF to Atlanta, but it makes total sense to move from Atlanta to SF. Oh and then today I got an email from her today about contra dancing. Weird.
Hope all are well. Summer's almost over and I am looking forward to cooler weather. We finally got below a 100 degrees today. Soon it will be fall and time for camping! YAY!
Oh and P.S. I get to preach on Oct. 7th so if you are in Atlanta come and listen. It can't be too political I have been warned, but who knows what I will be called to preach. It is children's sabbath at our church and later that week is National Coming Out Day, so much to think about...Keep me in your prayers as that day I will also be leading an intergenerational stewardship event for all our kids (100+) after preaching 30 min before and then 6 hours later helping with the St. Francis celebration where we bless all the puppies, kitties, hamsters and other critters in our congregation. I am looking forward to that and then a lovely day off on Monday.
Little known fact of the day:
Jewel, Drew Carey and Joan Collins were born on my birthday.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
It's times like this...
that I wish the US was more like California. Don't get me wrong I like Georgia, but less now than usual. Besides the fact that it has been at least a 100 degrees here (literally) everyday this month with it staying in the 90's until 10-11 pm, I have to go to the lawyer tomorrow. Yep. Due to the fact that Georgia will not let me go to the hospital with the Alexis or share property (the list goes on and on) without legal documentation we have been figuring out what we want in our wills, medical and financial power of attorney. Oh the things people take for granted.
I think the process has been good for us. A bit odd in someways thinking about who will take care of our future "hypothetical" children, what we want done with our mortal remains, etc. The kicker for me is that the cost of this lawyer visit is 30 times that of a marriage certificate in Georgia. To me that says it is a big commitment for GLBT folks to protect their partner/spouse. I am so confused why people think GLBT relationships are different? Of course they are different, but on the big things like protecting, providing and such they are similar if not harder sometimes. I mean to go to the lawyer is more than a week's salary, a couple months of groceries or a trip for both of us to Oregon. And that is so that Alexis can have a fighting chance in the waiting room to make decisions about my medical needs instead of having the doctor call my parents 3,000 miles away to make decisions on things they cannot see or even know about. It makes me sick.
Well, thank God I have insurance now.
On a more positive note, it looks like I might get to preach at my church where I work. This is a big deal because in the episcopal world I am a mere lay person. While I have a MA in Homiletics, I am still not a priest and well, that means that I might as we have never gone to seminary. It is a big responsibility and sounds like if it goes well I will get to preach more. YAY! Keep me in your thoughts.
Little nugget about California (and a good reason to live in Georgia):
Housing cost on average in San Francisco is $694,000. Housing average for Atlanta $185,000. So it's hot, there is no ocean a few minutes away and I have to have a piece of paper in my car at all times to take to the hospital - I can own land.
I think the process has been good for us. A bit odd in someways thinking about who will take care of our future "hypothetical" children, what we want done with our mortal remains, etc. The kicker for me is that the cost of this lawyer visit is 30 times that of a marriage certificate in Georgia. To me that says it is a big commitment for GLBT folks to protect their partner/spouse. I am so confused why people think GLBT relationships are different? Of course they are different, but on the big things like protecting, providing and such they are similar if not harder sometimes. I mean to go to the lawyer is more than a week's salary, a couple months of groceries or a trip for both of us to Oregon. And that is so that Alexis can have a fighting chance in the waiting room to make decisions about my medical needs instead of having the doctor call my parents 3,000 miles away to make decisions on things they cannot see or even know about. It makes me sick.
Well, thank God I have insurance now.
On a more positive note, it looks like I might get to preach at my church where I work. This is a big deal because in the episcopal world I am a mere lay person. While I have a MA in Homiletics, I am still not a priest and well, that means that I might as we have never gone to seminary. It is a big responsibility and sounds like if it goes well I will get to preach more. YAY! Keep me in your thoughts.
Little nugget about California (and a good reason to live in Georgia):
Housing cost on average in San Francisco is $694,000. Housing average for Atlanta $185,000. So it's hot, there is no ocean a few minutes away and I have to have a piece of paper in my car at all times to take to the hospital - I can own land.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Blogging about babies
It was nice today to see several responses to my last post, especially as people in all different parts of the world responded to each other. On my day off this week I looked at some other blogs that discussed their family's journey to having a baby. There was one blog about a family of two women in Beaverton, Oregon that just had their baby recently. I have always wanted to have a baby. It was a bit strange reading the blog and yet I kept reading. There is so much to learn and so much hope in the families that are having children. The baby is adorable (of course). The moms look so happy. It gives me hope.
It is amazing to me that this is a story that means so much to me, but without the internet I would not have probably heard it. There are many other families out there just like them. This gives us a model for how to start a family and what it takes. It is helpful to have this world wide community to give you information that your doctor may not tell you or even know.
Just to let all know, we are not pregnant and we have a while to go until this will be a reality. We are, however, excited about the prospect of being parents. Who knows, maybe we will have a blog like the ladies in Oregon in the next few years.
Little known baby fact:
The top ten baby names in 2006
Boys Girls
Jacob Emily
Michael Emma
Joshua Madison
Ethan Isabella
Matthew Ava
Daniel Abigail
Christopher Olivia
Andrew Hannah
Anthony Sophia
William Savannah
Our last three nieces and nephews have names in this group. Amazing!
It is amazing to me that this is a story that means so much to me, but without the internet I would not have probably heard it. There are many other families out there just like them. This gives us a model for how to start a family and what it takes. It is helpful to have this world wide community to give you information that your doctor may not tell you or even know.
Just to let all know, we are not pregnant and we have a while to go until this will be a reality. We are, however, excited about the prospect of being parents. Who knows, maybe we will have a blog like the ladies in Oregon in the next few years.
Little known baby fact:
The top ten baby names in 2006
Boys Girls
Jacob Emily
Michael Emma
Joshua Madison
Ethan Isabella
Matthew Ava
Daniel Abigail
Christopher Olivia
Andrew Hannah
Anthony Sophia
William Savannah
Our last three nieces and nephews have names in this group. Amazing!
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Making Friends
Making friends in college or grad school was so easy. You saw your neighbor everyday in class or in the cafeteria. These people also had similar interest to you, maybe it was just going in debt together but you shared a common bond.
Now that I am working full time the "instant relationships" are few and far between. Since, believe it or not, I am not the type of person to going into a bar and make a friend like my brother I look in different places for friends. I work at a job with hundreds of people, however, I am not supposed to be "friends" with those people because of my pastoral role at church. I am working on relationships with people on staff and that is going pretty well for only being there 3 months. We all have a common bond which can be a positive and a negative - work. Sometimes I can only hear so much about work.
Outside of work, it is a whole different ball game. I spent last night online looking for groups to get involved with to meet new people since our church softball league is over. I tried a stitch and bitch group in the area and it was fine, but I was looking for something more. I am going to try another group closer to home, but still it is weird going to a group and meeting a bunch of strangers. It's like a job interview. Do you fit with us? Do I fit with you?
Alexis and I were talking about this and it seems like finding friends is not so much about shopping for them. You just make friends. Who you hang around with on a regular basis usually become your friends. She has many friends at her part-time job, but they are not people she would search out at a group meeting. They are the crazy people that work at Trader Joe's. Each one different from the other. I guess the whole common bond thing is part of it too. They HAVE to show up to work. With these "interest" groups you don't have to meet up. It take more commitment because there is no paycheck after attending a month of underwater basket weaving club.
The other thing about shopping for groups is the whole dating component. So many groups are "meetup" groups for single people. It was hard to find a group that did not advertise itself as a place to meet your new girlfriend or boyfriend. The sign language group I looked at stated in its advertisement that "we hope you find your true love by coming to our group, like we did." Check that one off the list.
After looking at many different groups including foreign language groups, an outdoor group, even a scrapbooking group, I think I found one where I can get the combo of I HAVE to be there and share a common bond. A feminist choir that has rehearsals close by our house. I hesitated to look at GLBT groups because I want a diverse group, but one of my co-workers who is married in a straight relationship sings with this group so it sounds like a good fit. I also want to get involved with a local couples group to have some folks to talk about life in domestic partnership, civil unions or marriage (do we really want to keep the word marriage, why not make up new word like eros eternum?). Hey, maybe we'll even meet some folks like us who have kids?
Oh and did I mention that the singing group is free? I would love to join a dance group, but it is expensive and I can't get a second job to pay for it or I won't be able to go to the class. Maybe someday when I am making the big bucks.
My parents are still waiting for that day to come. I will keep you posted on how the choir thing goes and if you are in the neighborhood we do have two concerts a year, so you can come and listen.
Well, time to go train for the marathon. Gotta work hard tonight so can relax tomorrow and go to Kathy Griffin's comedy performance. I am so excited! If you don't know this d-list celebrity, check out Bravo's tv line up.
Now that I am working full time the "instant relationships" are few and far between. Since, believe it or not, I am not the type of person to going into a bar and make a friend like my brother I look in different places for friends. I work at a job with hundreds of people, however, I am not supposed to be "friends" with those people because of my pastoral role at church. I am working on relationships with people on staff and that is going pretty well for only being there 3 months. We all have a common bond which can be a positive and a negative - work. Sometimes I can only hear so much about work.
Outside of work, it is a whole different ball game. I spent last night online looking for groups to get involved with to meet new people since our church softball league is over. I tried a stitch and bitch group in the area and it was fine, but I was looking for something more. I am going to try another group closer to home, but still it is weird going to a group and meeting a bunch of strangers. It's like a job interview. Do you fit with us? Do I fit with you?
Alexis and I were talking about this and it seems like finding friends is not so much about shopping for them. You just make friends. Who you hang around with on a regular basis usually become your friends. She has many friends at her part-time job, but they are not people she would search out at a group meeting. They are the crazy people that work at Trader Joe's. Each one different from the other. I guess the whole common bond thing is part of it too. They HAVE to show up to work. With these "interest" groups you don't have to meet up. It take more commitment because there is no paycheck after attending a month of underwater basket weaving club.
The other thing about shopping for groups is the whole dating component. So many groups are "meetup" groups for single people. It was hard to find a group that did not advertise itself as a place to meet your new girlfriend or boyfriend. The sign language group I looked at stated in its advertisement that "we hope you find your true love by coming to our group, like we did." Check that one off the list.
After looking at many different groups including foreign language groups, an outdoor group, even a scrapbooking group, I think I found one where I can get the combo of I HAVE to be there and share a common bond. A feminist choir that has rehearsals close by our house. I hesitated to look at GLBT groups because I want a diverse group, but one of my co-workers who is married in a straight relationship sings with this group so it sounds like a good fit. I also want to get involved with a local couples group to have some folks to talk about life in domestic partnership, civil unions or marriage (do we really want to keep the word marriage, why not make up new word like eros eternum?). Hey, maybe we'll even meet some folks like us who have kids?
Oh and did I mention that the singing group is free? I would love to join a dance group, but it is expensive and I can't get a second job to pay for it or I won't be able to go to the class. Maybe someday when I am making the big bucks.
My parents are still waiting for that day to come. I will keep you posted on how the choir thing goes and if you are in the neighborhood we do have two concerts a year, so you can come and listen.
Well, time to go train for the marathon. Gotta work hard tonight so can relax tomorrow and go to Kathy Griffin's comedy performance. I am so excited! If you don't know this d-list celebrity, check out Bravo's tv line up.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Doh!
Has anyone seen the Simpsons movie yet? Speaking of Oregon earlier (the state that the Simpsons is based on) I want to get some feedback on the movie besides those of critics in the newspaper. I have heard it was not so good and that is disappointing. Give me your thumbs down or thumbs down.
Now for something completely different...
Alexis and I are fans of the reality show "So you think you can dance." Does anyone else watch it? We are excited for the upcoming finale...who will win - Sabra, Danny or the dark horse Neil? It would be cool for Sabra to win because she just has fun when she dances. The judges are also hilarious so check it out, if you haven't seen it. It's on Wednesday and Thursday nights on Fox.
While in Oregon recently with my grandmother we were discussing our favorite shows I found out that she actually votes on these shows? And she doesn't just vote once, she votes several times. How is my grandmother who doesn't have a computer more into reality tv than us? With dvr now we watch the show whenever we want to so we don't get to vote, but she is into American Idol and the whole thing. Are we the only ones who don't vote on these shows?
Little known fact (at least to me) about the show:
Last season the winner not only got $100,000, they got a contract to appear in Celine Dion's “A New Day” show at The Colosseum, Caesars Palace, Las Vegas. Come on who doesn't want to perform with Celine Dion?
While in Oregon recently with my grandmother we were discussing our favorite shows I found out that she actually votes on these shows? And she doesn't just vote once, she votes several times. How is my grandmother who doesn't have a computer more into reality tv than us? With dvr now we watch the show whenever we want to so we don't get to vote, but she is into American Idol and the whole thing. Are we the only ones who don't vote on these shows?
Little known fact (at least to me) about the show:
Last season the winner not only got $100,000, they got a contract to appear in Celine Dion's “A New Day” show at The Colosseum, Caesars Palace, Las Vegas. Come on who doesn't want to perform with Celine Dion?
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
The internet....
I have been thinking about the value of the internet lately. You know when you turn 30 you suddenly get all this perspective. Soo...the internet is a great thing. I can find things much more quickly now like take out menus, random facts and keep in touch with friends and family near and far. But, is the internet also just another distraction for us? I mean people say that the gay issue is a distraction from the discussing the fact that we are in Iraq and do not seem to have an exit strategy. (Side note: on NPR some strategist mentioned that if we have an exit date the terrorists will do everything bad on that day. Interesting point, but can't we have an exit date and just not broadcast it to the world?) Does the internet bring us closer together or just give us a reason to have random conversations with strangers? Does having all this information overwhelm us and make it difficult to deal with issues in ways more than sending an email to our congress person?
I am all for the internet. I love to send pictures to family, keep up with friends and know the weather instantly in the place I am going to visit...but as we look ahead 20 years what will the internet look like? Will it just be myspace pages and wikipedia? How will the world be better because of the internet? I think this is key to its survival...
Little fact on the internet:
The first usage of the word "internet" was in 1974 according to, of course, wikipedia.
I am all for the internet. I love to send pictures to family, keep up with friends and know the weather instantly in the place I am going to visit...but as we look ahead 20 years what will the internet look like? Will it just be myspace pages and wikipedia? How will the world be better because of the internet? I think this is key to its survival...
Little fact on the internet:
The first usage of the word "internet" was in 1974 according to, of course, wikipedia.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)